Over the last few days I read a book that has radically changed me - it’s the second book by Katie Davis Majors about her life in Uganda (Daring to Hope) and she is such an inspiration but what inspires me the most out of everything, is how beautifully broken and dependent she is on Jesus. In comfortable Western culture, your day might look a lot like mine - wake up (with an alarm
I set), eat breakfast/coffee (from supplies I’ve bought/made), work at a job (that I turn up to) that earns me money (to buy what I need), and the list goes on of the ‘self sufficient life’ that society holds in such high regard. But in Katie’s world, she is in a place where she needs Jesus to meet her every hour of her day. As I journeyed through her life through the book, I saw countless lessons and ways Jesus had been so real, so present and her strength in her weakness, displaying this beautiful picture of what it looks like to be in relationship with our Heavenly Father. And I want that for myself and I want it for you too. God has placed different callings on my life and your life but He is the same God and He wants the same level of intimacy with us in our crazy lives as He does with people like Katie in the place that He has called her to.
We love the idea of ‘changing the world’ or ‘doing big things for God’ but what I have been challenged to think about this weekend, is what if doing little things for God is where I’ll have the most impact? What if God has called me to find Him through the mundane, the list of tasks to get done, in the way that I talk to strangers at the shopping centre or smile at a random passerby? What if God wants me to just be ordinary and to find Him on my knees, hidden away in my room in the darkness of night? There is so much we can do FOR God but His greatest desire and His greatest pleasure is to do work in us. To refine our hearts in sanctification to become more like His. To let us go through trials and hardships because in the darkest places, He is still right there with us, lovingly teaching us to trust Him to take just one more step, hope for one more day, cling to His truth for one more moment. Over this year I’ve kept coming back to trying to switch over from relying on myself, to relying on God, but I didn’t quite know how on earth to do that, and also to be honest, I didn’t give it too much intentional time and thought. I just thought I needed to keep trying harder in my own strength because it was my fault when I didn’t prioritise God and so I’m the only one who could fix it. That little part is not quite true - what I do with my time is my choice but I can also choose to invite Him to help me learn how to bring Him into each moment of my day.
After getting hit with this whole concept and it finally clicking how I could start doing life with Jesus better, I wrote this down in my journal and I kid you not, my heart starting beating a little faster. “My desire for character refining is stronger than my desire to be comfortable.” I live a very comfortable life, and as a single 21 year old uni student, living at home with a great job and a great community around me, I am kinda queen of my life at the moment, able to make whatever choices suit me. Yes I absolutely struggle with many things and yes absolutely there are many things out of my control, but I know that if I choose to really, truly and deeply surrender not just my life, but each moment, then I am in for some uncomfortable growing experiences! But I trust my God to be faithful, to never let me down, to love me from my best to my worst moments and to help me up when I fall over again and again. And I know that it will be so so so worth it.
John 10:10 says “The enemy comes to steal and destroy, but I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full.” The word “full” according to good ol’ trusty google is “containing or holding as much or as many as possible/having no empty space/not lacking anything/complete”. The world shows us every way in which it thinks these things will make us “complete” - once we have the perfect house with a divine view, driving a fancy car, married to the perfect person and having a beautiful closet with everything coordinating, etc then we will have made it. But II Corinthians 12:9 says “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” The type of abundant and full life that I want to live is not one full of temporary treasures that constantly require updating and changing to keep up with the ever changing trends - that sounds firstly exhausting, and secondly, I don’t believe true happiness can be found in something so trivial and so conditional. I want to live a life that is abundant with His grace, because that is sufficient. A life that is full of His joy, because His joy remains constant through the seasons because it’s dependent on an unchanging God, not an ever changing me or other person, or stuff. A life that is full of gratitude at seeing God move in little ways and big ways that are so personal and show how much He cares for me. And a life that is ‘holding as much as possible’ of Jesus. I don’t just want Him to be part of the big decisions and the overall parts of my life, I want Him in all of it. But this means not just dying to myself some of the time, when I have the energy to ‘make good decisions’ or am ‘in the right headspace’ or any other excuse we can come up with. It means stepping out in faith and being uncomfortable 10/10 times, learning how to be more selfless each day, letting Him break the hard parts of my heart and trusting that when I am weak, He is strong and His grace will help me keep pushing on.
How do we practically do this though? Well to be honest, I don’t exactly have an answer yet but if we listen, God speaks to us so firstly, we need to make space so we can actually listen. Get into His word and pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal new truths and revelations to you. And then stop, listen, let your mind reflect and dwell on things, both that you are reading, and whatever you are going through, and then just put pen to paper to help you sort through it all. And throughout the day, be present, thanking Him for what might feel like the most trivial thing, and asking Him to open your eyes to what He wants you to do or say, and just invite Him to come join you in your boring meeting, or constant cleaning or an event you are anxious about. Set little reminders on your phone, change your screen saver, put up post it notes, do whatever will help trigger your memory when you're distracted. And just keep holding tight to Him as you see where He takes you!
Today was day 1 of this new journey of learning how to let God refine my heart and my character and I invite you to join me in repeating these words I wrote in my journal last night.
“My desire for character refining is stronger than my desire to be comfortable. I literally have a slightly faster heartbeat writing that but I am going to use my strong will for good and stick to this. Write it, scared. Say it aloud, scared. And live it, terrified but totally safe in the security of my loving Father. If courage truly isn’t the absence of fear, but rather doing things in spite of fear then I want Jesus to make me truly courageous so I have no choice but to rely on Him because in myself, I can’t do it. Jesus, I surrender ALL.
