"My grace is sufficient"

Life is extremely full right now. I have never resonated with this verse from 2 Corinthians 12:9 as much as I do right now. To briefly recap, in April we started a foster care ‘respite’ arrangement with a beautiful 10 year old little boy who came to stay with us every second weekend. That has been going so well and then in late June we found out that we were expecting our own little miracle who is due in March 2026. We were over the moon and so grateful that everything was lining up perfectly to give us time to rest and focus on preparing for the baby and then be able to support this other little one every second weekend right throughout the pregnancy.

Then we got the call that little one’s current carers were not able to continue in their role and he needed a new home asap. We said that if the department couldn't find long term carers, then we would offer our home for 3-6 months. I was completely caught off guard as I am still working full time, plus being pregnant meant that my load was already big enough…so then to add the full time care of a 10 year old seemed way too big. But when we took our eyes off ourselves and thought of it from this little boy’s perspective, and then knowing God calls us to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1), we decided to be open to the possibility and surrender it to God. If He wanted us to do this, then the agency would come back to ask us to take him. If He was releasing us from this extra responsibility, then He would provide another option for him. This was all good in theory, but if I am completely honest, alongside praying for His will to be done, we were praying for someone else to come forward so we could just continue to support him on a part time basis. But a week later, they rang saying that they had no other options and asked if could he move in the following week. So with a big prayer and step in faith, we said yes. 

Around the same time this little one moved in, I hit another hormone spike which meant that the nausea that had been under control for a few weeks came back in full force and my fatigue levels hit new lows. At the time of writing this, I am in bed resting and reflecting on how we are going to manage everything on our plate for the next few months and it feels very overwhelming. Then the words “My grace is sufficient for you” came into mind. I might be feeling overwhelmed, but His grace is sufficient to give me the strength I need to do all (and only!) what He has called me to each day, one day at a time. Which means it’s more vital than ever that I am going to Him for wisdom in how I plan my days and weeks so that I have the energy and capacity for what He has called me to - to nurture my body and baby, love and serve my husband, and care for our little one. This will mean that there are some things (that are good things) that while I may want to do, I will need to say no to, for a season. 

Very early in my pregnancy, I was struggling with the sudden change in my capacity and feeling so weak. Things that I found easy only a week or 2 earlier, I now struggled to have any energy for, and Jacob has had to pick up a lot around the house (on top of his busy work) which has made me feel so guilty. Then as I lamented this feeling of weakness, I laughed to myself as I remembered the word God gave me for the year “Strong” and how God keeps bringing me back... and back... and back again to this wrestle in surrendering needing to be strong. Being pregnant is so humbling already and yet I’ve got a long way to go and I will need to be okay with relying on others’ help. Even the thought of that gives me the ick but I have been reading an amazing book called “Expectant - Creating a vision for a Christ-centred pregnancy.” Something that stood out to me was the reminder that even though it is more blessed to give than receive, someone still needs to be the receiver for the giver to be blessed. And sometimes we are going to be the givers and sometimes we are going to be the receivers and that is okay. That’s how it is supposed to work. It’s just another area of character development that I need His grace for, to be humble and find the right balance through the Holy Spirit’s help of not being lazy and taking from others, but knowing my limits and being gracious enough to accept help where needed.

To sum up where I’m at - sacrificing is hard, dying to self is hard, and trusting God on the crazy roller-coaster of life that we are on at the moment is hard. But opposite things can be true together - because despite the challenges, the joy of carrying a new life is unexplainably wonderful, the privilege of sowing faith and love seeds in a little one’s heart is so rewarding, and letting His strength be made perfect in my weakness is the best place that I can be.