Yesterday was our 1 year wedding anniversary. It’s gone so quickly and I can’t believe we are already at this milestone, and at the same time, it’s been such a big year that I feel like we’ve been married for 10! Life is always full of unexpected twists and turns and blessings beyond what we could imagine, and overall, I can say with all honesty that this has been the best year of my life.
Stepping out from under my parent’s care and into a covenant with Jacob has involved a lot of learning in a variety of ways. Firstly, just figuring things like bills, groceries, cooking and establishing our own weekly routines. There have been weeks with way too many “Yes’s” where we have not left enough in the tank, and then other weeks we have felt more settled through learning from those busy weeks. Secondly, learning how to be a married daughter hasn’t been hard or bad, it’s just involved learning and communicating. My parents have been so sweet and supportive and for a very close family, have been so good in allowing Jacob and I space to be our own family while still always being there for us when we need advice. I’ve been learning and retraining my thinking that it’s still okay to ask for advice and help from my parents once I’m married. My number one person I go to is always going to be Jacob, but when it comes to life things that are new to both of us, it’s been such a blessing to get a second opinion from people who have covered this ground before, and we are grateful for their advice that has saved us time and money on many occasions. I’m sure the relationship between parents and married children looks different in every family, but having my parents as mentors and friends, as well as our ever loving funny parents, is working really well for us. I’m so grateful that this transition has been as smooth as it has. It definitely has taken some getting used to this new season, on all parts - my parents and siblings miss having me around at home and sometimes I miss just the everyday chatting about work and life with them, but it makes our family catch ups more special and intentional. The Bible instructs us to seek out wisdom, have spiritual mentors, learn from older men and women and be humble and teachable, and we are created for community. So, if that happens to come from parents instead of someone else, then it’s only going to better encourage and build up a newlywed couple because parents already know and love them.
Hospitality is something that I have been really wanting to develop and grow in. I love hosting and having people over but I struggle with wanting everything to be perfect so my guests have a good time and like the food I prepare. I can get quite stressed and anxious before an event, even if it’s just a couple coming for dinner and so I am needing to grow in not letting being a good housewife be my identity, not letting my perfectionism take over, and not taking my stress out on Jacob by bossing him around with what I need him to help me with. We all wrestle with identity in different ways, and I have wrestled with it through quite a few different seasons where my identity was tangled up in Uni or exercise or being a girlfriend or being a good Christian or needing to be the perfect friend. And now my identity mixed with perfectionism (maybe I need to revisit my regeneration testimony!) has reared its head again with settling into being a housewife. I want my home to be a place where God’s presence and peace is, and people feel loved and welcomed any time. Which means I need to get comfortable with not being perfect, let go of any unrealistic expectations and hold onto God’s peace in my own life. And remind myself that people come to our home to see us, - not eat perfectly plated up food and sit in a spotless house.
Being a wife has been the most fulfilling role and I absolutely love it. It’s better than I ever dreamed of and I thank God every day for my husband who I adore even more, every day. But as an imperfect human, and being a forward thinking/planning person, I find it very easy to lose sight of what’s in front of me and focus instead on the next thing. Working full time while running a house can be a lot to juggle, and I can struggle with wanting to jump ahead and be in the season of the lovely Christian wives on my instagram who are stay at home mums. But God has been so incredibly faithful to me in my job this year, showing me time and time again that He has called me to this job in this season. I don’t know how long this season is going to be for, and what my life will look like 5 or 10 years down the track, but I am learning to trust God’s perfect timing and to keep reminding myself of His faithfulness and look for His hand in all the small, personal details of my life. Then I am brought back to a place of contentment and patience and am able to fully soak up the sweetness of the season we’re in.
The word God gave me for the year was ‘faith and if I were to look back and reflect on this past year of marriage, the thing that is a constant in every situation whether it’s been good or bad, has been been faith. In January, I thought it was silly to have a word like faith as my word when I’ve been a Christian my whole life, but God has truly blown me away with His faithfulness in response to our faith and prayers this year. For Jacob to get this amazing apprenticeship and me to step into the next level job just after we got married and then buying a house within 8 months (which was a whole God story in itself) and then to top it off, I got another promotion at work the exact month that we started paying our mortgage. The role wasn’t originally going to be available until next year, and then unexpectedly got funding early, then the interview was the same week that we moved house and I got sick, so God carried me through that whole process and then opened that door. Only God could have orchestrated this and not that God has to do things for us to put our faith in Him, but this year my faith has been strengthened so much because we truly have had to rely on Him to provide and trust Him to come through.
I don’t want this post to be a brag on how good our year has been, because while marriage is the best, we have had our fair share of trials, tears and prayers for life outside our cute little bubble. I want to share this post for 3 reasons. Firstly, for those who hear so many people say that marriage is not only hard, but the first year in particular, I want to say that the first year can be wonderful!! Life is always going to be hard, but when you have ‘a live in’ best friend, life gets just a little bit easier. Secondly, I share this as an encouragement to trust God’s best, God’s timing and God’s design. We are by no means perfect, but we tried our best to put God first in everything through our dating and engagement season, and prepare well for marriage, and we are seeing the fruits of that through the joy and freedom that has been so present in our marriage. And most importantly, I share this as a testimony to God’s goodness. He is so, so good. I feel so humbled to be loved by a God who knows me so well and knows exactly what we need, when we need it before we even ask for it. So I pray that this encourages you in some way, no matter what season of life you’re in. Lots of love to you all!
