Trials come in all shapes and sizes - some are just a brave choice in the moment, and some take years before you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Still others come like the waves, entering and leaving as seasons of life change. Even in my short 21 years, I have had a variety of trial lengths that only seem to hit harder each time as the years have gone on. The pessimistic part of my brain says ‘it keeps getting harder, just give up trying to be good now’ and the optimistic part of my brain says ‘well you made it through each one so far, you’ve got this’.
I’m a ‘suck it up and move on’ type of person, I like to just move past things very quickly which can be a strength in some situations, but can be a huge weakness because if I haven’t actually spent the time to process and work through stuff, and I let myself just distract and move past it, it doesn’t actually go away and keeps coming back to haunt me. At the moment there’s one particular struggle I’m still working through and I’ve been so frustrated at how long it is taking me to get to the other side. But I’ve had to admit to myself that some things aren’t a quick fix or able to be fast tracked and avoiding them doesn’t help either. Facing the hurt and stopping myself long enough to work through it and not push it aside is painful and everything in me keeps telling me to just give up, it’s too hard and it’s impossible to ever get past this. Surrendering to God sometimes multiple times a day, dealing with the feelings and situations that come up and continuing to try my best to keep making choices that will actually help me is hard, and mentally and emotionally exhausting, so when those 'just give up' thoughts enter my mind, it’s so tempting to just give in. Over this last week it’s been especially difficult and even though my heart and my feelings are all over the place, my head keeps reminding me of God’s truth. Galatians 6:9 say - “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." If we want to reap the harvest of the joy and freedom that awaits us on the other side of whatever we are going through, then we need to just keep pressing on and persevere. So we have a choice to give up and stay stuck where we are, or keep being brave to make the harder choices to help us move forward.
Perseverance is the word that’s been on my heart all week for multiple situations in my life and has been one of those God things where it keeps popping up everywhere I look. At first my brain went to “just keep turning up” like what a lot of fitness coaches will encourage their clients to do and the mindset I have with working out too. I thought well if I just keep turning up and persevering then it will eventually all get easier. But then, God chucked a different spin on it - He reminded me one day when I was feeling overwhelmed with just life in general on top of everything, that I don’t have to ‘just turn up’ in my own strength but I can ‘just turn up in His strength’. The persevering I had to do wasn’t in the practical everyday things of my life that I was wearing myself out by overthinking and overstressing about. The persevering that God wants for me is to just turn up to His presence, and invite Him to turn up with me to each thing that I have to do. Stopping and sitting in His presence can be painful but it’s a refining fire that heals, not a pain that will hurt me and I don’t have to be afraid of that because I know I can trust that One who holds me. So if you’re tired of dealing with something, give up trying to do it on your own - that’s giving up you’re allowed to do! The last few days have been so much easier because instead of turning up to wherever I was going anxious, I turned up holding tight to God’s hand.
One of the things for me personally that has felt extremely overwhelming is some of the big world issues happening at the moment. I don’t know if it’s just me becoming aware of them recently or they’ve come further into the light, being uncovered by Covid. There is SO much darkness in our world and it seems like it’s just taking over the whole world, but again, we have to persevere and draw closer to Him and hold tight to Him and His truth so that we can withstand all that may come up against us. The light shines brighter the darker it is, so we need to make sure firstly that we are staying close to Him and letting Him fill us with His light. And secondly, we can rest in the fact that God is still bigger than even the biggest problem here on earth and all we have to do is keep persevering in choosing to trust Him and follow Him. That’s it - just keep turning up for Jesus and let Him do the rest - work in us, through us and around us.
So whether it’s a big trial, little trial, short trial or long trial, I hope that this has encouraged you to keep persevering and trusting that God does work for our good, He does have a plan, He is always with you and He will give you His strength to be able to carry out all He has created you to do. Love to you all xoxo
